I started getting some random requests from anonymous names: Write “SLUT” on your chest in lipstick then send a photo straddle and writhe on your bed railing while crying, “Yes my master”. I was working from home and my projects were not very mentally engaging. So much so, that I had to take my post down in a matter of hours. I was instantly flooded with messages and requests. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Inexperienced sub, seeks kind and loving Dom to train and master her. Thanks to the guy, I had some sexy photos I’d taken while I was on a work trip to keep him titillated. A bit of subtle prodding of some more open-minded friends led me to Fetlife. Making me ask for things I was too ashamed to… It all seemed sexy AF.īut how was I going to find someone who would do that to me? Not Bumble, that’s for sure. The idea of handing over my body to someone else – giving them complete control of my pleasure – was real appealing: Being tied down, gently teased to the brink, only to have them stop, then repeat it all again. I spend so much of my life having to manage and control everything - people, places, things, work, timetables, emotions… I’ve always had this fantasy of being dominated. What was on my list of sexual things to do before I die? What better time to explore my long-held secret sexual fantasies without having to deal with a messy relationship? Here I was single, living alone, no strings. I wanted more sex: This guy had uncorked a sexual genie that I didn’t want to put back in the bottle. The conclusion I jumped to: I didn’t want to date. I was opening up with him in ways I never had before. We’d done things I’d never tried - new positions, anal play, toys. It was passionate, sensual, and f**king hot. The way our bodies responding to each other, how we communicated. It wasn’t until my therapist asked me, “What is it about him that you really missed?”, that it hit me: I missed the sex. I quickly realised I actually didn’t want to date. Then there was the OK Cupid guy who liked pee… The new guy asked if I wanted to be in a relationship with him… one hour in.
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